Legends of the Fall

Last week I had the opportunity to attend the 24th annual Great Sports Legends Dinner, a charity event to support the Buoniconti Fund, a foundation to find a cure for paralysis due to spinal cord injury. The events honorees were sports legends Troy Aikman, Clyde Drexler, Mike Piazza, Ivan Lendl, Rusty Wallace, Brett Hull, Dara Torres, Pat Day, and Chris Waddell.

As a member of a relatively unknown web magazine, I was asked to stand in a relatively unknown section of the red carpet - the very end. This is good and bad - it's good because you are the last interview and there is no one else jockeying for position, and it's bad because there are 15 photographers trying to man handle you as they jockey for a photograph. There were no punches thrown, although I had my Roger Clemens mask handy in the event that I could egg Mike Piazza into a reenactment of the 2000 World Series. For those of you who missed it, 'Roid Face Roger tossed Piazza's broken bat to Mike while he was headed to first base, and trouble ensued.

Fortunately Mr. Piazza was accompanied by the lean, mean, swimming machine Dara Torres, and well, she has a way of pacifying the situation. First up though, was Troy Aikman, Dallas Cowboys Hall of Famer and current broadcasting booth buddy of Joe Buck. I wanted to ask him all things football, like do you ever listen to anything that Joe is saying, or do you zone out like the rest of America? I could have asked him if Jessica Simpson is in fact banned from the new Cowboys stadium, or if she has had trouble fitting through the entrance gate due to her recent weight gain. See how that works? The stadium is f'n HUGE and she still can't get through the door. For more on Troy, take a listen to the interview below:

(Please view www.youtube.com/aullian to hear Troy Aikman, Clyde Drexler, and Buzz Aldrin sound bites - until I get the kinks fixed).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-U1s1v1nyI

Next up, we have Trailblazers and Rockets legend Clyde "The Glide" Drexler. A member of the Original Dream Team, Mr. Drexler has kept a fairly low post-NBA profile, sticking to color commentary of Houston Rockets home games. He has not showed up next to Ernie Johnson on TNT, nor has he showed up at the Basketball Hall of Fame and given a bitter acceptance speech. , just a very good basketball player. Below is a litte chat we had on the red carpet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMP5Xzg6Uqk

After Mr. Drexler, I saw Mike Piazza standing in the distance. He was next to Dara Torres, and I really wanted both of them - and I thought I could do a joint interview, but sadly, the PR people saw otherwise, as did the photographers lunging across the red rope. That's the other thing about this particular red carpet, you had members of the media and then you had 30 fans waiting in a 2 foot area with all types of sports memorabilia. I was waiting for the moment when the blob of fans fell forward onto the carpet, destroying all life its in wake - didn't happen. Anyway, so Mike Piazza came by, and all I could think to say was "So, the Mets still haven't retired your number, whatsupwidat?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2yqPZzuKEU

From a distance I saw the man who invented "the killer crossover," and his name is Tim Hardaway. The best thing about interviewing Tim Hardaway is that he is in my height range, and we had a good eye-to-eye conversation. And he said he could teach me the killer crossover, which was very generous of him, but not very true - not that he couldn't do it, that I couldn't learn it.

An All-Star point guard for the Warriors and the Heat, Tim was part of "Run TMC," the backcourt trio of himself, Chris Mullin, and Mitch Richmond that reaked havoc on the Western Conference in the early 90's. Tim is best known for his superior ball handling and his " I got skeelz" ad campaign of the early 90's. He's also known for an anti-gay rant he did during a Miami radio station interview in 2007. He later apologized for his remarks, although in contrast, Shaq never apologized for asking Kobe how his ass tasted. Below, Tim Hardaway speaks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvJQkLT_j4Q

The evening's last chat was with the astronaut Buzz Aldrin, yes THAT Buzz Aldrin, and his lovely wife ?uestlove, I'm just kidding, I didn't catch her name. I had the opportunity to speak with Buzz at the red carpet for the Christopher and Dana Reeve foundation, so needless to say, Mr. Aldrin is a very charitable man, and he has that ferocity that only comes with being a serviceman and an astronaut. He is also the star of a youtube video where he is punching a guy in the face - the punchee being a conspiracy theorist who accused him of faking the moonlanding. Some people deserve punches in the face.

More from Buzz Aldrin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ury4XCEPGr0

For more information on the Marc Buoniconti Fund please check out http://www.miamiproject.miami.edu